I sat there staring at him when it hit me how my life has changed over the past year. I went from being this bad ass single mother to sharing my life with another soul. I went from showing everyone around me that I was strong to being vulnerable with someone.
Being a single mother has been my identity for so long. I conquered being alone, I loved being alone, being alone was so much easier than sharing my heart. Why doesn’t someone write a book on how to love after being single? Single mothers are used to figuring life out on their own, we protect our kid(s), our heart and our minds. All of a sudden this whole new world is opened up to us and we have to adjust! What do you mean you want us to share our feelings?! Like our real feelings?? The ones I’ve pushed deep down?
When the relationship gets a little rocky we would love nothing more than to run back into our comfort zones, the comfort of feeling safe when we’re alone. Life can be messy but it can also be beautiful when we take a chance. Just like any new experience there will be trials and tribulations but through all the obstacles comes growth.
As my anxiety was starting to rise I started to convince myself that this was all wrong, that I should get out. I realized how truly happy I was, I calmed myself down by realizing how much I was laughing. I decided to just shut up and live, a little while longer.
To be continued…